S2 51. Not in the mood

- I don’t feel like drawing now. Iiro sighs, sits to the end of his bed and lies down.

 – Should I leave? Oona says. She just got in, but Iiro's not in mood.

– No. 

– To be honest, I don’t feel like posing either. Oona huffs, sits besides him and follows his example. 

– We can just lay here and pretend we work, Iiro says. 

– Sounds like a plan. Oona nods. – Just listen to music? 

– Perfect. 

– What’s eating you? She asks.

– I had to witness my bro and her making out and listening their sexlife all night long.

– Oh. 

– They are so damn happy together. I feel angry, cast aside, I don’t know… Iiro rubs his face.

– Oookay. 

- So what’s eating you? Iiro asks.

– I don’t know what to feel anymore. I miss my BF when he’s gone and I’m difficult when he’s around. She tells with hurt expression. - He’s a good man who deserves more. It hurts when he’s away and when he’s home. It’s so fucked up. 

– Well. This sucks. Iiro sighs.

– Majorly. 

– Sometimes I hope I could back to childhood. Back to my granpa ja nan when my biggest worry would be if I can’t go to swimming. Iiro closes his eyes.

Oona let’s out a light chuckle. 

– I'd like that, she gives him slight smile.– Not this emotional labyrinth with no way out. 

– I’m glad you are here though, Iiro continues. 

– You are? 

– I feel somehow calmer when you are around. 

– That’s a nice thought. Mm. I love this song. Oona relaxed next to him.

– I like this, Iiro says. - having good music, just talking. 

– It’s nice. Oona thinks some time. – I like these Thursdays. Just concentrating on posing, talking a little. I feel like more like myself here. 

– More you? Iiro opens his eyes.

– More like I used to feel about myself. More free. 

– you can come here anytime you like. 

– Seriously? 

– Yeah. I mean it. I’m working most of times so I’m not very social and just staring at the screen. Occasionally swearing. 

Oona laughs softly. 

– Sounds perfect. Thanks. 

– You have changed a lot in short time, Oona thinks. 

– Thanks to you, Iiro gives her faint smile.

– You see, you’d get more friends if you just stopped faking. 

– What? I’m not faking! 

– Oh yes you are, Oona says with certainty. – You are trying to hit every woman in sight just to show other guys you are something. 

– Wha-- 

- Trying to hide your insecurity under that player act. 

– I don’t know do I want to hear more of this. Iiro shakes his head. Oona hits so close now it's scary.

– It means I’m right, Oona says. 

– I don’t like it. I’m not… 

- Really? There’s nothing wrong being insecure or sensitive. I think if man can show that part of him - and I tell you everyone has it – it’s just makes them much more likable. 

– Huh? Ok. Now I’m confused. Iiro frowns and he's doesn't know how to react. Oona sees right thru him.

 – I like the real Iiro more than the part you were playing before, Oona smiles. – Thank you for showing me that. 

- Um, you're wellcome I guess.

They are silent for while, looking each other. Iiro's expression suddenly changes .

- Don’t move, he says - The lights bring out your cheekbones and curve of your chin very nicely. The lights and shadows are so good now. 

– Ok? 

- I want to draw your face. You have great cheekbones, Iiro quickly gets his sketchbook and pen. - Hey, no smiling!