67. still awake

- You are awake? Ilari is surprised to see his granmother sitting on the couch when he comes back home.

 - You know what old folk say. Don’t let sun go down over your argument, Bertta replies. - I want to talk with you. 

Ilari looks cautious, but doesn't say anything.

– I don’t want to fight, Bertta continues. – I have only two grandson’s and they are far too rare to loose. 

- Why did you go to Venla’s? Ilari says. 

– You weren’t telling me nothing and I was curious and worried. 

– Why? 

– I told you. I’m worried about you. 

– There’s nothing to worry. 

– Really? Bertta sighs. 

– I had a long talk with Iiro. You drink too much. Ilari is silent. 

– It’s not a problem anymore, he denies.

 – What would your granpa would have thought about that? He would have been very sorry to hear about this. Dissapointment is clear on Bertta’s voice. Ilari swallows hard. He respected and loved him more he could say. 

– Nan… he says with hoarse voice. – I’m sorry. 

- You need to stop it. 

– It was a problem at the summer, Ilari tells. – Coming back and the breakup was too much to bear. It hurted so much. I tried to drown it all. 

– Oh, dear boy. 

– And then I met Venla, he continues. – She doesn’t know it, but she saved me. Brought me back. I feel like I’m home when I’m with her. 

– Home? 

– Just by being the person she is. I haven’t been drinking much after that. It's in control now. Ilari pauses and thinks. – I didn’t tell you since it’s all in very beginning. It took me forever to realize I have had a wrong woman in my mind. There’s been huge missunderstandings and Damn, I nearly blew this up by myself. So please, don’t mess this up more. I need her. I want her to be in my life.

Venla daydreams about dancing. Her first try was clumsy and she kept stepping on Ilari's feet but he put so much faith and patience to her Venla started to believe it could really happen someday. That she could learn to dance.

She lays on her bed and sees herself flying with him on the dancefloor. What a silly but same time so beautiful thought. We all need some dreams to go on, don't we?