Venla wakes up to the feeling being carefully tugged in and starting to feel comfortably warm. When did she fall asleep? Ilari is there, sitting on the side of the bed looking at her with gentle expression.
– Did I wake you up? He whispers. - Didn't mean to.
– Nuh- uh. It's okay.
- I'm sorry, he says in quiet voice. – I was clearly a jerk. I didn’t mean to shut you out, make you feel bad. You are my no. one, sweetie.
He touches gently Venla’s shoulder and his thumb tenderly rubs it.
- I’m sorry too, Venla whispers in return and feels like crying. This moment feels so frail that talking aloud feels like it could crumble and brake it. – I should have told about how I feel. I just exploded. I-- I feel terrible about shouting to you and giving you cold shoulder after that. Her eyes sting and start watering up.
– It’s okay, Ilari sighs. – I deserved it and we learn by doing. By making mistakes, he shrugs and brushes his fingers into Venla’s hair. – I want this to work. I want to make it work.
– Me too, Venla agrees.
- I do trust you. It’s just… Talking is so hard, you know. Ilari continues with whispering voice. Maybe he feels how fragile they are the moment too.
- The feelings.. I don’t know. The words are there but they just don’t come out. It’s easier to show with deeds than with words. He strenches his hand and draws Venla to his side. This time she doesn’t flinch or pull away.
– I missed you when I was away from home. From you, he starts to slowly moving his fingers on Venla’s back in comforting way. – I don’t want to be separated from you. I should have had asked what you want though.
– I missed you too, Venla whispers burying her face to nape of his neck and fights the tears. Need to snuggle up to him is strong. His fingers keep touching Venla’s back, slowly running back and forth.
– and yes, you should have asked. But I forgive you. She can’t keep her tears back anymore. – I really thought you are just moving on, leaving me behind.
– Sweetie. I’m so sorry, Ilari says comforting her. – I never thought you are hurting. I try to be more open, but if you start feeling like this again, you need to tell me. He wipes tears from Venla’s face and his hand slides to feel her collarbone, thumb caressing it.
– Promise? Venla makes a sniffling sound, and pulls closer to him.
– I promise to try, Ilari nods and bends to kiss her neck. They sit there holding each other for a long time slowly comforting each other.
First soft touches turn more searching, more caressing little by little.
– You want to…? Ilari whispers and Venla shush him quiet. She doesn’t want to talk anymore. Without another word Venla pushes her blanket away, stands to her knees and starts to undress him.
It’s diffirent this time. Slow, comforting, accepting and forgiving. Love making with full meaning.
- If you rather show than talk then what that house means then? Venla mutters learning her head to Ilari's chest.
– What do you think love?
– I’m not in mood for guessing, Venla sounds little anxious and then she realises what Ilari said. She turns to face him with big frown – What was that?
– I I thought the house would be a nice suprise. Something you’d like. Something to treat you with. With things you’ve been wanting to have.
– Hmm?
- You’ve been talking how you like to have Lucky around. Dog in your life again. You’ve been all over walls to get your hands on the dirt again. Planting... erm, doing whatever gardening needs you to do. Ilari let’s a small smile surface. – I wanted to give you all those and more. I tried to make you happy. Happy with me but looks like I failed epically.
– No. It’s not a fail but you just should have talked more about it. All suprises aren’t succesfull or good. It really warmed my heart to hear you were thinking about me here. Venla says. – But you said something else too, she clings to one little word she heard.
– You meant the I love you part? Ilari says so casually it’s almost infuriating.
Venla stares him and then pokes his chest with her finger. She feels so annoyed.
– I hate you. You can’t …you can’t just say it like that!
– Sweetie? Ilari lifts her chin to face him again. – Would you come with me? Move together for real?
Venla takes a deep sigh.
– Would you love?
There it comes again. Again! First nothing and now he’s practically teasings her with it.
– I’m not going to answer you now, Venla says with little pout. - Let me think about it. Love.
– Hmm? Ilari reacts more than she though he would. His eyes goes wide and they fill with warmness.
– What did you think, fool? Of course I love you back, Venla huffs.
Ilari wraps her into tight hug and Venla feels her happiness drowning all that irritation she had moments ago.
Comments
Post a Comment
How did this make you feel? Share your thoughts here!