S2 80. The Sauna Magic For The Bride

 The start for Ronja's and Nora's bachelorette party starts traditionally with sauna rituals. Girls are getting ready for it.

- I know. I was called too, Venla nods when Oona tells her about the incident with police. – I told them I believe it was missinformation and I don’t think it has nothing to do with you. Right?
Oona feels relieved.
– Thank you. I felt so humiliated, she says. – I can’t believe how prejudiced some people are!

– I think I know who’s behind it, Venla gives it a thought. – When we lived there’s there was very nosy and meddling old lady, Ms. Hurskainen. She’s very into appearances and titles. Ilari hates her to the core.
– I need to win her over, Oona decides.
– Careful what you wish for. She’s like malign crazy catlady.
– Catlady you said? Oona gets glint in her eye. – I think I know what to try now.
– Remember I warned you. She’s terrible hag! Venla chuckles. - I can’t believe she thought my herbs were cannabis!
– You should have seen the face of those police when they saw it! Oona cracks up too. Now the whole thing is starting to feel more than amusing.

– Are we going to sauna or not? Ronja is getting impatient.
- I'm already going! Madde yells from the back. - Make room!
– Wait till you found out what we have planned for you! Venla smirks and Oona smiles like a proper conspirator too.
– And that is…? Ronja smiles.
– You’ll find out soon! Venla grins to her sister.

– I’m soooo excited! Madde almost jumps on her seat. – I’m so going to get all that love from bridal seat. Just wait and see!
– What’s that? Nora asks.
– Don’t you know. When the bride stands up in sauna, the first who is
going to sit on her place gets all the luck in love.
– Huh? Oona blinks.
– Yeah, because bride is just oozing that loooove from her. Really, you didn’t know?
– I think I’ve never heard that tradition before, Oona muses. - I'm glad you sound so much better though.
– Ush. Shouldn’t told you. It would have been easy for me. Well, we got two chances anyway!
- Two chances to get other peoples germs you mean? Ronja cracks up.
- Nooooo. Don't be a spoilsport! Madde pouts. - I really need all the luck I can get.
- Me too, Oona joins the cause.

– So. Are we starting? Venla asks and shows twisted branch she brought to sauna.
– Yeees, spank all the ex's out! Girls cheers as crowd.
- Those are big branches! Ronja grimaces.
- Couldn't find any fir trees, Venla shrugs. - I promise to be gentle?
– So, from beginning. Ronja, time to tell all your past flings! Madde is all in already.
– This
is going to be a long list! Nora chuckles.
– You think? Teresa grins.
– Oh, I know! Nora laughs.
- Shut up, love. You're next! Ronja barks.
- And I won't be as gentle as Venla there! Oona threatens the redhead.

They do old Finnish bridal sauna tradition, where the bride names every old crush, affairs and partner’s, everyone she has something to do with so the old feelings are spanked away with (preferably with spiked fir tree) branch so they wouldn’t meddle with the current love.

Ronja gives out the first name and all girls chant the said
name and say ”go away” in chorus while Venla spanks her back (softly) with that branch.

- Oona, Ronja says after some names.
– No shit! Madde cries and burst out laughing and elbows Oona. – You slept with Ronja too?
– What? I was like 18 then? Oona says.
– Was it before or after we had the thing? Madde scrunches her nose.
– Before I think? Oona tries to remember.
– Oh, you were so good slut those days, Ronja sniggers.
- What can I say? Oona spreads her hands. - If your body is your temple who am I to forbid those who want to enter? They all crack up and double in half with laughter.

– Who hasn’t slept with Oona put your hand up! Nora throws in a quick survey. Only Teresa and Venla lift their hands.
- WHAT?! Why I haven't messed around with Oona?! How could this happen?! I need to fix this ASAP. As the matter of fact I didn’t even know you’re into girls too. Teresa is almost schocked.
- My brother stole her from me! Madde points out. - Meh! You've been so straight after that!
- Hey, I'm straight too! Venla reminds them.
- Well. I swing both ways, Oona replies to Teresa. - More choices!
- I should definitely try my luck tonight, Teresa said and winks her eye to Oona who just smiles back at her.

– Are you going to go back to your old
ways? Nora smirks to her.
– Who knows? But I could sure have some fun, Oona smiles. – I think I’m done with crying.
– I told you! Nora smiles. – Tears will stop and there you are. New you!
– I do feel better. Stronger, Oona smiles.
– Uh, I need
to get some air, Nora huffs and climbs down.
– Hey, we aren’t done yet, Venla reminds them.

The moment Nora lifts her backside both Oona and Madde spring up to get Nora’s seat.
– Ha ha, got it! Oona exclaimes her victory.
– No fair! Madde complaints.
– I’m going to be so full with looooove no one can resist me! Oona boasts.
– That’s the spirit! Ronja laughs.
– Back in line now! So after Oona there was… Venla reminds them again
- Jenniina, Ronja says.
- JENNIINA! The choir repeats cheerily and Venla flings the branch.

- And then there’s that one whose name I don’t know.
Girls go silent.
– It wasn’t your fault, you know, Nora
says softly. – It was bad luck. Very bad luck.
– I know, Ronja says shortly.
– Um, what? Venla inhales schocked.
– You didn’t know? Madde asks.
Venla shakes her head. She looks at her sister but Ronja turns her face away. Heavy silence hangs in hot and moist air and for a while no one knows what to say.

– We have all been there, being harrassed, felt scared, groped, intimidate, assaulted in way or another, Oona says and everyone nods in unison. - And we are always there for you.
– Joys of being a woman, Nora wipes her face.
– Ok. Let’s not stay here. Beat it out! Ronja pushes her sister. – This one really needs to go.
- Ok, Venla says uncertainly and waves the branch at her. Her hand trembles but she still does it.
- Harder! Ronja tells her.
– Go away Bad man!
– GO AWAY BAD MAN! They all chant with fierce sound that feels like a war cry.