S2 82. Guilt and Regret

 - I thought we were going to Club Ibiza!

– That’s a disco place! Ronja sneers.
– Explains why you are dressed like that, Oona mentions. - Oh Madde… Oona sighs from the bathroom where they are doing their make ups and everyone can hear someone turning sick.
– I don’t feel so good. Madde spits bile from her mouth.
– Houston, we have a problem, Oona raises her voice.

– What is it? Ronja comes to see. – oh no no no. Girl, you are so wasted you are not going to get in to the club.
- We can’t leave her here either, Oona frowns.
– I’ll see she gets back home safe, Venla volunteeres. – I think I need some air too.
– You sure?
– Positive. She looks at her sister. – Is it ok if I pass tonight? Don't think about us. Just have fun?
Ronja looks at Venla and finally nods. It’s plain for her to see her little sis is no mood for partying now.

The girls stumble in and Venla struggles to keep them upright. She’s tipsy, but not as drunk as Madde. They had to stop twice on the way for her to reel down and empty contents of her stomach. Couple of times Venla got worried they aren’t going to make it.

When they finally make it and she helps Madde to bed she feels the heavy burden of responsibility lifted from her shoulders. It’s replaced by the shock she felt earlier when finding the truth about her sister and guilt of her own behaviour during years. So much happened in one night it feels too much to bear now.

Venla hugs herself in her skimpy dress and shudders. Tears are starting to pool her eyes no matter how hard she tries to fight them away.

– Are you ok? Deep booming voice comes from behind her.
- Y-yes? She tries to hold back to tears. She didn’t remember Madde lived with her brother.
There’s moment of silence and Venla glances behind her. Tomas is sitting on the couch like he owns the place (well, he does), looking like cut straight out from hot guys calendar page and watching TV. She turns her head away quickly.
– I don’t believe you, he says and stands up.
– I can manage, Venla whispers and twists her hands. – I’m out of your hair in second. This time her voice comes out in sobs.
– No, Tomas denies her walking away with one word.. - Talk to me. What happened?

– I have been horrible person! Venla wipes her eyes as Tomas sits her down to sofa.
– You are sweetest little girl I know. You can’t be horrible. Tomas shakes his head.
– I’m not a little girl! Stop treating me as a child! Venla snaps angrily and then tears starts to fall. - I just learned my sister…. She can’t say it aloud.
– I know, Tomas nods.
– No one told me! Everbody else knows but me! Venla fist her skirt into her hands. – When people stop to treat me like a kid or retarded! I’m younger but that’s just so bad excuse to close me out. It makes me so mad! I have been teasing Ronja in cruel ways. Been really inconsiderate and thoughtless just because no one told me!
– Poor baby, Tomas voice turns soft and he puts arm around Venla’s shoulders.
- Don’t you baby me! She angrily shuns him but breaks down crying and buries her face into his wide chest. Tomas hushes her and now she accepts comforting arm around her shoulders.

- I’m a sorry excuse of sister. I should have been there for her, Venla sobs. – Instead I kept picking her and twisting the knife in her guts.
– You didn’t know. You didn’t do that on purpose.
– I should have realised something was wrong! I remember wondering why she was so difficult and gloomy.
– Now there. Tomas sighs. – We all make mistakes. It’s old thing and I doubt she holds any grudge against you.
– I still feel guilty! Venla wails.

Tomas looks Venla’s slumped head against his chest. Venla is falling asleep in his lap. At some point he moved her into his lap and Venla curled up like little kitten. Cute. Her outburst took Tomas with suprise. Girl has some backbone but it really took toll on her. Poor little thing.

Uh, she certainly isn’t that sad and unsure teenage girl anymore. He gently caress her arm and softness of her skin feels so diffirent under his fingers. Venla has grown into beautiful woman. Even with smudged makeup it’s clear to see. He reaches his hands underneath her (he never noticed she has amazing long legs when she was in the wheelchair) and lifts her up with little effort.

- Where you are taking me? Venla asks sleepily without opening her eyes.
– Into the bed. You need sleep.
– Whose bed?
– Mine. I’ll sleep on the couch, Tomas says and carries the blonde into his bedroom.
– It’s ok. I can sleep on the couch, Venla mumbles.
– No way. Tomas puts her down. – Good night.
– Stay? Venla takes hold of his hand.
– Venla. Tomas frowns. She’s still tipsy but still very inviting.
- I don’t want to be alone. It’s your bed anyway.
– Not very good idea.
– I trust you.
– Careful what you ask for little girl. He's suddenly looking very predatory.
– I… Uh, I didn’t mean it like… that, Venla's cheeks burn when she gets what Tomas meant.
– I know. I'm not your man, Tomas touches gently her cheek. – But I’m lonely single guy. I don’t trust myself. So I’ll go to the couch. Good night.