It takes forever before Venla opens the door. She's trembling and she presses her lips tightly together.
Ilari returns back to his flat and takes a deep breath. His feelings are so mixed. Yes, Venla is a friend and he was supposed to help her out of hard situation but whole thing turned upside down. When Venla said what movie she was supposed to watch, something just clicked in Ilari's mind. She couldn't know, could she? They didn't know each other that well yet. Virpi would never ever voluntarily watch any action movie. That made impression as well.
– You ok? Ilari asks. -Have you seen the weather report? Venla manages to smile a little.
-Yes. I'm not dumb. I'm not going out today, she says. - You don't have to worry. I'm not going to make same mistake twice.
- Good. So what are you going to do?
– Wait till medication kicks in, draw curtains down and try to watch a movie. Why? Ilari rubs his ear and doesn't make direct eye contact.
-I can't stand that you are here alone and scared.
- It's not your problem, Venla says and whimpers when crackling sound goes again.
-Actually. It is, Ilari crosses his hands to his chest. – These walls are so thin I can hear you crying. Anyway, you'll keep me alerted and worrying.
-Wha—What have you heard? Venla blinks. OMG. He must have heard those times when Eetu was here, too.
-Nevermind. Ilari shrugs. -I could help you the last time and I probably can help you now. I'm not leaving my friends into trouble.
-Are we friends?
-I have told myself so, Ilari says.
-Okay. Come in.
-Can Lucky come too?
-Dogs are always wellcome! This time her smile is more spontanious and catching.
-So, what you are planning to watch? Ilari wants to know what he's signed for.
-The original Terminator. Ilari stops by the door.
-That 80’s Arnold flick?
-Mm, Venla nods. - It's my favourite guilty pleasure. Ilari has to restraint himself to not to kiss Venla in spur of moment. It's his favourite oldie. (Virpi never got that either why he wanted to see it every once in awhile.)
– Right. I'm so in in this! Ilari smiles.
They get to see half of the movie before main storm arrives. Venla has been jumping and whimpers just a little. Her medication is clearly working and keeping her steady. But when lightning strikes somewhere near, she loses it. Ilari feels how she's starting to tremble and crying. Her breathing is getting more shallow.
-It's okay, Ilari says and pulls Venla close. – I won't let anything happen to you. I got you. You aren't alone anymore. He continues with a calm voice.
- Talk to me more, Venla pleas with tightly closed eyes. – Take my mind somewhere else.
-What should I talk about? Ilari thinks aloud.
-Anything. I don't know… Um, tell me about Iraq? Venla says and whines when there's crashing sound again.
- Okay, Ilari wraps his arms around Venla’s shaking body. It's suprising comfy to be like this. And then he starts telling about how diffirent sunlight is in Iraq as it's in Finland. How crude and beautiful desert could be and how's everyday life was on military base. Venla relaxes little by little and her breathing comes back to normal.
Ilari tells how service in army brought him clarity and order in his life. How hard was to look at the news and read about Isis terror and then realize he actually could do something about it without risking his career or stepping into wrong side of law. So he went to Iraq as an UN soldier to train kurdish peshmergas to fight Isis. At least he could give them strategy, military skills and working and fighting as an organized group. It cost him losing his home, his girlfriend, life as he knew it, but he doesn't regret. He couldn't have lived with himself knowing he could have done something.
Venla lays on Ilari's lap half a sleep. Thunder is over and there's only constant sound of autumn rain.
– You should go to bed, Ilari says with quiet voice. -It's over now and you are falling to sleep. Venla mutters something inaudible and isn't willing to end this. She's comfy, feeling safe and have enjoyed listening Ilari's calm and deep voice.
-Did this help? He asks and caresses gently Venla's hair.
– Mm, yes. I feel so much better than I usually do at this point, Venla admits. She is tempted to plea Ilari not to stop. His fingers in her hair feels divine.
– Good. Go to bed now. I'll take Lucky out, He says and pushes Venla gently up.
-Ilari?
-Hmm?
-Can we redo this when The next storm comes? He smirks in friendly way and stands up.
-Deal. My turn to choose the movie though, he agrees. – Good night.
-Ilari?
-Yeah?
-Thank you.
Venla was, no, is so easy to be with that Ilari noticed he was once again spilling his inner thoughts to her. Guess he trusted her so soon and it surprised him. Funny how opposite this was with Virpi. She never wanted to hear anything from operation times and made him to be on guard about what to say. Venla made him feel needed and necessary, things Virpi took from him years ago. Ilari liked this. No, not just liked. He enjoyed his time there. It was like getting some forgotten parts of yourself back.
Venla's hair had scent of vanilla and something really nice Ilari didn't recognize, but he could smell them when she placed her head onto his shoulder. Need to touch them was so strong he eventually couldn't help himself and had to run his fingers thru them when Venla was dozing on his lap. Ilari wonders what her skin could feel if he would touch her. She felt so warm, inviting and good when held. Venla was probably getting undressed and ready to go to bed just behind that wall... Shit. His mind started to wander. We are friends and I’m helping her out. Nothing More. Nothing More.
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