- Hey girl, Susanna smiles and shows a wine bottle she brought. – have you had trouble with your phone? I’ve tried to get hold of you for days. What have you been up to?
– Been mostly in bed. Venla says without any expression. – Have had better days. Pain has been so paralyzing I couldn't do a thing.
– Oh. Didn't realize it could be that bad, Susanna looks overwhelmed.
– Welcome to my life. There's good days and bad days. CRPS is tough company and I'm dying to get that operation.
- I'm so sorry Susanna sighs. – I have to say that to other matter too. I messed up things, thought something was going on even though it wasn't and…
- Quit beating around the bush, Venla says and her voice is supringly stern. – Say what you have to say. I’m tired of scemes and games.
- I warned you about Ilari but I was wrong. He wasn't-- isn't playing. He seriously cares for you.
- Did he asked you to talk to me? Venla looks dubious.
- Well. Yes and no. He came to talk to me couple days ago and Geez was he angry. Susanna takes a deep sigh.
– Why?
– I broke his trust, Susanna looks remorseful. – I shouldn't have told you that we had that thing.
– No. I’m glad you told me. I'm not interested to be one of many. Now I know what he really is. Venla turns her back to Susanna.
– Shit. You are so wrong about him, Susanna shakes her head. - Ilari's maybe the most loyal and committing person I've ever known. It's me having many guys, not him having many women.
– I'm so confused, Venla says her feelings aloud. – This just doesn't make any sense.
– Do you know where he comes from?
- Huh? Iiro told me something’s from their childhood.
- So you know Syde got neglected by his parents? Never got love from them?
– And how's this got to do…?
– Do you know what comfort sex is?
– I guess?
– Imagine being one who just have had to cope. Imagine your mother never hugged you. Imagine you seeing other people happy, holding hands, hugging, kissing and you just want, long for all that but you don’t know how to do it. How much you just need and wish to be touched and to be able to touch someone.
Venla turns her eyes to the floor. Her eyes start to sting.
– I shouldn't be telling you this, but since I already screwed things over it's better to come clean. Susanna rubs her face. – It was never romantic thing we had. I started it because I couldn't see him suffering like that. It hasn't happen too many times but when it has happened he has always been somewhat broken and hurt. It was more to patch him up.
Venla doesn't say anything and tries to swallow lump in her throat.
– By telling you in the first place, I kinda lost him. I didn't realize it was so private, so sensitive thing still. He cut ties with me because of that. I'm sorry I messed up. With one of my best friends and with you. I just ended up hurting people I care about.
Venla sighs again and opens the wine.
- You want some?
- Please.
Venla opens box of chocholates saved for after surgery and pours the wine. They sit by the kitchen table.
– My mind is like a rollercoaster now.
- I'm sorry. Susanna says again.
- Me too. I could have dealt without breaking my heart, Venla leans to the table.
– You broke your heart? Susanna gasps and tears fill her eyes. – I tried to protect you from that!
– I'm grateful you came to talk face to face. My mind is swirling but now I can finally make some sense to it. She takes a drink. – Are you working tomorrow?
- All the reservations are cancelled. People are too scared to come cause of pandemic, Susanna replies. – It’s same as nothing If I go there or not.
– That sucks. Venla says and then smiles. - I want to talk all this thru now and I'm not sure if one bottle is enough to do that.
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