76. Morning after

Next morning Venla wakes up and feels relieved she's all alone. There's so much new information, so many questions hanging in the air and she's sick to the stomach of all the uncertainty, confusement and doubt. Why all relations to other people need to be so complicated? If it's always like this she's almost ready to settle with just some cheesy romantic flicks and invest in good vibrator. You can buy yourself a bottle of wine and bunch of roses everytime you feel like it. Or she could try her sister's path and turn into lesbian. Thought of it makes Venla laugh out dryly. Yeah right.

 Heavy rain beats the windows, making Venla sigh. It should be snow this time of year, but thanks to global warming, no more. How wonderfully christmassy. She looks after her phone but can't find it. She needs to talk with Ilari, but that can wait. Maybe she could bake some self-therapy gingerbread in the meantime.

Venla discovers her phone hours (one chocholate cake and several gingerbread plates) later in a place where she doesn’t recall putting it. 26 missed calls from Ilari. Wait what? Howcome it’s muted? She tries to call Ilari but this time there’s no answer for her. So she decides to go to his door.

Ilari looks terrible. Like he hasn’t slept at all. He opens the door and let’s Venla in without saying anything. 

-Hi? Venla starts and gets a furious glance from him. 

-Did he stay overnight? No hello, Hi or anything like that. Just that question in a harsh tone. 

-Um. Yes, but... Venla stammers. She was about to say they should talk and something happened, but Ilari got her completely off guard.

– I’ve given you time and I’ve been there for you. You paid it back with sleeping with my brother. Ilari is angry. 

– I… Venla starts and her eyes start to sting. – It’s not what --

- It’s not what I think, right? Ilari fullfills her sentence. – I think it’s excatly what I think. Now you even tried to lie to me.

– What? Venla asks and feels schocked about how angry he is. 

– Do you know how it felt to get that pic from Iiro? 

- He did what? Venla gasps. 

– He sent photo of you sleeping next to him.

- Oh god. 

– So you just opened your legs to him just like that. I take it you just didn’t accidentally fall into his dick? 

-Please, don’t. Venla starts to cry. – That sounds so harsh. 

– How do you think I feel? I really thought we had something, Ilari continues. 

- But we have? 

– I don’t fuck other women. Guess you aren’t the person I thought you’d be. 

– I’m sorry, but--, Venla sobs, but Ilari stops her again in middle of sentence.

– No. I am. Cry all you want. Ilari stares out. 

– But…you got it wrong? 

He draws a long breath. 

– I can’t even look at you now. I trusted you. I nearly fell in love with you and you… you… fuck! 

Venla tries to touch him but he shuns at her. 

– Don’t touch me. I think we shouldn't see each other for now. It’s better for you to leave now.