S2 15. You are hurting more than I do

- What is it? Venla asks seeing something's wrong.

- Just thinking, Ilari mumbles

- Care to share those thoughts? 

– It’s nothing, Ilari shrugs.

– Really? I can see something is troubling you, Venla crawls closer.

- You don’t have to worry about it. Ilari says in defensive tone.

- Don’t do this. Don’t push me away. 

- I’m not pushing you away. 

– Let me try to help you. Whatever it is, it’s eating you, Venla states what she sees. - Talk to me? Please?

– So you read me too? Ilari's brows knit together.

 -Hmm? 

- I didn't know it showed. Venla doesn't have a heart to tell him anyone could see it now. Instead she wraps her arms around his shoulders and hopes the closeness could comfort him.

Ilari is silent for a long time and it's making Venla's heart sink. He was the one who wanted to talk more, but when it concerned him, Ilari turned mute.

– It’s Iiro, he says after a long time.

 -What about him? 

– I’m worried he’ll do something stupid. 

- Howcome? 

– You didn’t see how he was when he came here. 

- No. I hardly remember the day. 

– He was not his usual himself . Ok. I hit him, but I haven’t seen him so down for years.

 – You hit him? Venla sounds schocked. 

– Not proud of it, Ilari admits. - But he really had it coming. 

– Why he came here? 

– To apologize. Ilari replys. 

- And you hit him? Venla's voice rises a pitch.

– Mm, Ilari shifts feeling uncomfortable. 

– Did he get badly hurt? Venla worries.

 – This wasn’t the point, Ilari dodges. 

– He came to apologize and you hit him! Venla gets upset.

 – We talked everything thru and we are cool. He's okay, Ilari grunts. - If you are just going to judge me, we are done talking. 

Venla holds a sigh. Ilari overreacted, but so did she. 

– Ok ok. I’m listening, she backs down. – I’m not judging you. 

Ilari is silent for a while. 

- Iiro wanted me to ask you'd forgive him.

– He played me like no one did before. It’s hard to forget. Venla replies with tight lips. 

– And then you get mad at me being angry with what he did? His voice still carried hint of anger.

– Hey. Calm down, Venla hugs him. – I got a little upset but I’m not mad with you. It’s okay. You are really uptight now. 

Ilari frowns and touches Venla’s hand. 

– I’m not used to share my mind. 

– I see that, Venla whispers softly. – I’m not your enemy here. 

– Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Ilari sighs. Then he thinks of something. – Your leg? You must be hurting to get up like that. 

– You are clearly hurting more, Venla answers. – I’ll manage.

 He reaches for her and guides her into his lap. 

– No. I don’t want you to hurt. There’s just lot in my mind. 

– You wanted us to talk more, Venla says gently. – I’m here for you. I know you have a lot you don’t want to talk about or share with me, but I want you to know I’m here when you are ready to do so. 

Ilari lays his head on Venla’s chest, press her against him and they just sit there. 

- I’m getting transferred, he says after another long silence. – I have six months to arrange my things and leave Helsinki.

 – To do what? Venla blinks. 

– I’m assigned to take charge of whole UN training unit. 

– Lot of resposibility, Venla mutters. 

– And far away from here, Ilari finally says what’s troubling him. - 3 hours drive from here.